Accountability.

In previous years I have not set New Years resolutions for myself. For a few reasons. One is that I’m a ‘If you’re going to do it, do it now’ type gal. Anything I want to change in terms of fitness, food, fun, whatever - I do it the day I realise it, and if I don’t do it then I compartmentalise it as ‘well you obviously didn’t want to do it that badly did ya’. 

This year feels different though, i feel different. So I’ve set some New Years resolutions to hold myself accountable for. 

The first one is in relation to content creation and social media. I’ve never been a fan of sharing my whole entire life on social media and I do think people go too far for likes and do too much to try and go viral. I’m shy sometimes watching content like ‘Say swear you did that on the internet’ looool.. But also the things I’m shy watching were slapping and getting the comments and views, so it was like ‘if THAT is what I have to do to get likes I AIN’T DOING IT BUDDY’. 

But the truth is, there is a way to create content and exist on social media without doing anything that isn’t in line with my morals and integrity, so I need to do it, and not just do it, I need to be consistent with it. So I’m doing it, I’m on Tik Tok and Instagram and I’m just posting, bare tings, every day. Substack and my blog are usually long reads so those will happen as and when I catch a WURD. But they say it takes what 22 days to create a habit, so we’ll see where I’m at in 23 days LMFAO. 

The second one is ‘Fun’. When I was 25 and everyone was out having fun, I had a baby. Two years later, I brought my first house. I been moving mad serious ever since. If I weren’t getting paid - I wasn’t leaving the house. Last year I met someone who encouraged me to have fun. We actively just went and did fun things, things I hadn’t done in years. Climbed tree’s at Go Ape, VR experiences, Holidays, and I ENJOYED. It took some getting used too, being outside for the sake of being outside. And it took a minute for the voice in my head to not be like ‘Sian you should be at home doing admin/ you should be at the restaurant chopping veg, you should be prepping your radio show, don’t you have a child to look after’, but once I got the fun bug, ohhhh my garshhh it was addictive. 

I took my first party holiday even, at my big age loooool, I went to Freedom Street and R&B Slow Jams in Malta and literally just ate, sunbathed and partied, no other agenda, and it felt fantastic. By that time I was also free of the guilt as well, I was unapologetically just having fun. 

There are two hobbies that I let down last year, one is skiing, I LOVE skiing, I find it so thrilling. And last year I told myself I’ll go once a month and I went once and then ‘got busy’. No. This year I AM GOING SKIING. 

The second is sewing, I used to love sewing and now I can’t even remember how to use a sewing machine! My babe got me a sewing machine for my birthday and I’ve signed up to a course so I can relearn it. I’ve cleared out my wardrobe and put aside a load of clothes I can tamper with and alter and I’M VERY EXCITED about bringing this hobby back to life. I find it so soothing and therapeutic.   

So those are my ressy-loos, my New Years Resolutions and I’m putting it here so I can hold myself accountable for them, and so you can hold me accountable for them. 

When you see me, ask me what the last garm I made was. And when the last time I went skiing was. Just embarrass me. Pls. 

Thank you <3 

Also as a side note note, I did a wrap up reel on social media of the work related things I did last year, I was going to do a personal one with all the fun things I did as well but I held back because I saw one of my friends post saying ‘If all you did was survive this year, that’s something to be proud of’, and I wanted to honour that a little bit. 

Like it wasn’t all great and all fun last year, there were multiple points where I was simply surviving, but as a broadcaster two days a week it’s impossible to live with your pain. As in I could get my heart broken on Friday at 11pm and have to go into radio on Saturday at 4pm. I could be outside the BBC building at 3pm crying, vomiting with my eyes dem swelling up and it doesn’t matter. At 4pm when that microphone goes up, I am Sian Anderson from BBC Radio 1Xtra and my job is to take you away from your troubles. It isn’t about me, and it’s been that way for eleven years of broadcasting. 

We don’t speak about it (as in me and my cohosts) because it’s just something we have to suck up, and because I guess I don’t often get time to live in my pain. There is no time to live in my pain. The diary says Monday - Monday you are a mother, Mondays and Saturdays you are a Broadcaster, on evenings you are a DJ and the rest of the time you are a director and restauranteur. You have to survive and keep going because literally every single one of your jobs rely on making sure everyone else is happy. 

Wait… 

Do I need a therapist? 

Brb.