Sian Anderson

  “He’s getting married!!” She blurted out across the table. I’m only half listening, because why hasn’t he text me or called?  “They came over and asked him if he was single, and told him he’s my type. He smiled but said he’s actually engaged”. She holds her hand to her head feigning embarrassment. “So I’m apologising for them saying this, especially the part about being my type, and he looks me dead in the face and goes… ‘but you are’… She’s all animated, fake dropping her jaw to the floor, eyes wide, with the can-you-fucking-believe-this-guy expression, waiting for me to match her energy.  Of course I can fucking believe the guy, he’s a guy, they’re all very clearly just eurghhhhhh…; Jesus, why hasn’t he text or called?? I’m tapping my phone screen, for the 180th time this morning, as though my phone maybe forgot to notify me that he’s text. As though my watch forgot to do its little vibrating dance thingy it does on my wrist, when he’s text..  When he’s text.. Go...

Oi it's soooo wonderful to be back blogging again. I wake up thinking about writing and sometimes I can't sleep cause I'm so excited to wake up and write lol. I feel like I might leak my iPhone notes so you can really reallllllyyyy see what I'm writing but maybe that's toooo far right this second lmfao, let me ease you in! Anyway, I woke up a couple of weeks ago and everything became clear in my head, I understood what I needed to do so clearly, I saw the vision, and it was a vision that was nothing like one I would have expected for myself.  Now you know me, I got straight to work at making that vision a reality, even though it is super scary and it has so many areas of risk, uncertainty and newness. But it just MAKES SENSE. Like you know when something JUST MAKES SENSE?!?!?! There have been obstacles thrown in my way and I'm like 'why is this happening, it's just complicating things', but I realised the universe is just tryna test if I truly want t...

Let’s talk about the greatest MC of my generation.   I say ‘lets talk’, but I’m going to talk and you’re going to nod your head in agreement because it's facityyyy facts and you can't disprove it. This is even going to be a super quick one, cause really I can explain this in two points Point 1: I know you man just might run out of bars - Chip don’t run out of bars.   Point 2:   Cleannnnnn every day mi wake uppppppp. But if you need it broken down.  You can't out bar him, your lyrics are not better than his, you can't clash him and come out on top, you haven't put in more hours than him, you do not have international reach, and tunes with Mavado and Chris Brown, you didn't have a number 1 single at 18, crowds do not go absolutely ballistic when they simply see you. Forget the part where you even pick up the mic to spray, people do not SEE you and scream, just because your presence alone means business. You are not the grime scene saviour rudolph raver.  It's...

So the other day my son goes ‘Mum, can I talk to you please’ (he’s so polite). I’m like ‘Ye, what you saying’ (because why are you being so formal lmfao). He goes ‘I want to ask you for something, something for my birthday. It’s the only thing I want, I don’t want anything else’.   My head did spring up I can’t lie. My child doesn’t ask for ANYTHING. As in I’m constantly like ‘Lij do you want this, do you want that’ and he’s like ‘No, thank you’. To the point I’m like MY GUY, YOU’RE NINE YEARS OLD. THERE MUST BE THINGS YOU WANT. And I buy him things, cause I feel like he should have things, but it just gets put in his box and stays there. So I’m mad curious to find out now what he actually wants. And I’m bracing myself for the big ting.   He’s not a complicated lad to be honest, he likes what he likes… Roblox, his PS5, going to Youth Club, Football, Swimming & Grandma (not in that order though, Grandma is his thing he likes most in the world).   Anyway I said ‘Cool wh...

It’s like a betrayal of my body. It’s like, I’m being asked ‘What’s 2+2’ and I  know  the answer is there, the answer is so simple, I learned it such a long time ago, but my brain won’t put 2+2 together and the ‘4’ is stuck on the tip of my tongue.   I take out pen and paper, and I draw out two lines, then another two lines, then I count them one by one, and I make 4. Now I’m frustrated at myself. Cause of course it’s ‘4’. It isn’t difficult, I know there was a simpler way than the method that got me there (which is me just knowing what 2+2 is, as I would on any given other day) but my brain couldn’t pull it all together and I’m mad at it. That’s life for me the past couple of years, and the brain fog is only one part of it. The tiredness, the actual falling asleep while people are talking to me, the waking up feeling absolutely shattered, the making-sure-my-Apple-Watch-is-charged-incase-I-stop-breathing-for-too-long - those are some of the other parts; and I hate them al...